Two-by-Four Therapy

Scene: Dorm room of Resident Advisor where RA is handling suicidal student refusing professional psychological counseling referral.

For the 10th. Day in a row the scene has been repeated, several times a day, for 10 days. I was that RA.

Finally, the RA says, “If what you want is to kill yourself, go do it.”

The student’s reply, “I will! And you will feel so guilty.”

I reply, “No, I shall not feel guilt. I will be very sad that someone with so much to offer took her own life, instead of accepting help to do the right thing…continue living.”

The student angrily returned to her own room. In a suite of 16 young women. I notified the suite that she was in need of constant observation; and to call me immediately if her behavior became more desperate. After months of living with her, everyone in the suite was aware of her condition and threats of suicide.

Within 15 minutes the student returned and with venomous looks agreed to professional counseling. Immediately, I had a counselor from the university on the phone with her, making an appointment for the next morning. This was a success,

Two-by-four therapy is sometimes necessary, but not for the faint of heart. It is one reason I became an attorney, instead of a social worker or counselor. I wanted the biggest two-by-four I could wield.

We always need to listen. We do not always need to speak words. We sometimes need to wave a two-by-four to build the future we want. The strongest negotiating tool is not always the language of rational speech; but, the language of power and control. We sometimes need to speak the two-by-four.

Congress, are you listening? president Biden, are you listening? Local Democratic Party, are you listening? Put on you gloves and start lifting those two-by-fours into place if we can hope to Build Back Better.