Over 25 years ago our state bar association convened a group of women lawyers, 2 from each county, to address sexist laws and regulations, and court practices. I represented the county in which I practiced law. We met on Malcolm X’s birthday so I implored the group to also address racism as well. It seemed, I suggested, that only addressing sexism was insufficient to create justice. And as Malcolm said,” If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem”. The group agreed to expand its review and its reach.
The breakout sessions were useful. We formed sub-groups to research specific areas. At the close of the day the Chief Justice of our state Supreme Court, a man, and the president of the state bar association, a man, spoke to the group. They appeared a bit unsettled by our enthusiasm for the project. My comments citing Malcolm X contributed to their appearing to be ill at ease. One of the men advised us to ” go easy on the men” because our efforts and comments would ” hurt their feelings” and make them uncomfortable. They told us we need to “help them with their feelings” as we discussed and delivered our findings. It might be too upsetting for them.
That did it! I rose up out of my seat and announced that as women, and as African-Americans the lawyers in the room already had to handle our own emotions because of the sexism and racism we experienced from those same men. And it took all our strength to do so. It was not our job to handle their feelings, too. They would have to handle their own feelings.
I explained that we agreed to help our bar association and our state courts correct that sexism and racism which had made our justice system so oppressive to women and African-Americans. The least the men could do was handle their own feelings, responses and actions.the room grew so quiet one could have heard a pin drop. The men paled, and shrugged helplessly. They had no clue how offensive their comments had been. They were gentlemen and I was …. not.
This belief that the oppressed are expected to ” tread lightly” so as to ” protect men’s feelings” is exactly was the police ask if those protesting the police brutality that hides behind the Blue Line. That is not our job. The police who understand better than any the effects of police brutality need to handle their own feelings and their own actions. And those who stand up and advise us to not make them ” uncomfortable” ask too much.
annarino writes 