I AM A SLUT
Louise Annarino
3-2-2012
Sandra Fluke, I stand with you. I am a proud “slut”. If I had a dollar for every slur against womanhood I have heard I would be a very rich woman. All women would. From my earliest memories I was aware that no one should “throw like a girl”, “cry like a girl”, or “complain” like a girl”. These comments were not simply illustrative, but derogatory. I felt such sadness hearing them, as I wondered why being a girl was “no good”; why just being “like” a girl was cause for ridicule. How much worse was it to actually “be” a girl?
High school taught me little was expected of me. Called into the Principle’s office one afternoon, I leaned that I would not be the class Salutorian, even though my grades were tied to the 4th. decimal place, and higher carried to the 5th decimal place, when compared with those of a male classmate. Father explained that being a young man such an accomplishment would help him in life; and, since I was a girl, it would mean nothing. It had been decided my accomplishment would not be acknowledged.
In law school I was chided for too much “color” in my voice, and using my body and hands to communicate during oral argument, even though I “won” the case. My male opponent was praised for gripping the podium and never changing his inflections, remaining “professional”, even though he lost the case.
Practicing law brought its own set of put-downs. After the first day in trial, I carried a photocopy of my Ohio License which I routinely placed in the judge’s hands as I introduced myself. The first day, as both attorneys and our clients stood before the bench,I had introduced myself to the judge stating, “Good morning, your honor, my name is Louise Annarino. I am an attorney with Columbus Legal Aid Society. This is my client Ms. X, the petitioner in this matter.”
The Judge responded, “Young lady, you can’t just waltz in here and represent yourself. you need an attorney.” I then reintroduced myself as the Judge an opposing counsel smirked knowingly to one another. The judge responded, “Well, little lady, you need a real attorney.” This happened two more times as those awaiting to be called for their case and their respective attorneys began laughing. My client leaned close and whispered, “Should I go get a real attorney?” We won the case, despite such outrageous treatment to my client and to me.
Such belittling, dissembling, sarcastic, disgruntled behavior in response to sharing power with women has got to stop. Yet, Rush Limbaugh uses his power, licensed over our airwaves, to attack women as “feminazis” and now “sluts”. Ms. Fluke did not deserve such an attack;no woman does. Mr. Limbaugh continued again today to abuse her publicly for exercising her constitutional right address congress.
In July 1848, Elizabeth Cady Stanton (who kept her name when she married) wrote teh following in the “Declaration of Sentiments and Resolutions” presented at the Seneca Falls Convention:
“all men and women are created equal” and “are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights…” (man)”has usurped the prerogative of Jehovah himself, claiming it as his right to assign for her a sphere of action, when that belongs to her conscience and to her God.” (result?) “the establishment of an absolute tyranny over her.”
It is clear Rush Limbaugh and his supporters have more in common with men of 1878 than with fair-minded men and women of 2012. Sex sells in America and Rush and his ilk are using sex to sell oppression of women. This is not a new tactic. Too often, religions and armies use sex to oppress and maintain power. Rush asked for tapes of Ms.Fluke engaging sex. He equated a stated expectation that women’s health care needs should be covered under insurance plans with asking for “paid for sex”, making Ms. Fluke a “prostitute”. He said her parents “would not be proud” of her. He called her a “slut”. Well, if she is all women are; because, all women expect to be treated equal to men in the United States of America. President Obama knows this and is fighting to protect women’s rights. And, after thanking her for speaking on behalf of women’s rights, he told Ms. Fluke in a personal phone conversation that her “parents should be proud” of her.
I once served briefly on a joint task force of women attorneys from across Ohio, sponsored by the Ohio Supreme Court and The Ohio State Bar Association,to address sex discrimination in Ohio’s legislation, law schools and courts. At the first meeting, I listened to the women who spearheaded the effort speak, followed by the male president of the Ohio Bar Association, and finally the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Ohio. At the close of remarks I felt myself rising to my feet unbidden to contest a comment from one of the men (I paraphrase since it has been so long ago):
“Be gentle with the men as you proceed, ladies. Any negative comments are very hard on the men and you don’t want to create a backlash. So take it slow as you petition for change, and be mindful of the men’s feelings.”
That is when I leapt to my feet announcing that it was Malcolm X’s birthday that day and if he were alive he would remind us that, “Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you’re a man, you take it.” And I added, “We women are not petitioning for freedom,equality, and justice; we are taking them. I have a hard enough time handling my own grief and anger over the injustice of sexism and racism to be asked to handle yours,too. Men need to take responsibility for themselves and handle their own feelings for a change.” And, I added, “if you have trouble with that, recall another comment of Malcolm’s, ‘If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.’ If you can’t handle yourself, and you can’t handle us then, at least, get out of our way.” One woman clapped and pins dropped throughout the room. No more.
Today, I ask women to take justice and seize your equal rights. Don’t ask for them from men. They don’t own your rights; you do! Stick together. Today, I am a proud “slut”.
annarino writes 
MARRY UP GIRLS!
MARRY UP GIRLS!
Louise Annarino
April 15, 2012
In high school, every girl knew where to hang out to attract boys. Parents like mine made certain I was not among those girls. Such was the protective net flung over my head. It was a comfort. It allowed me time to seriously assess what my role in life would be without a man to influence my decisions; and what role men would have in that life. My focus was on education, career and independence. Motherhood and marriage seemed a given, and to be delayed until I could be self-sufficient. Only then, could I make the future secure for myself and some future family.
I deliberately wrote motherhood before marriage in the above sentence. Too many of those young women allowed to hang out with boys, became mothers first and married in haste after. A total loss of freedom and self-sufficiency, only one piece of the price they paid. The cost seemed too high then, and life has shown me it still is thus.
I had imagined university to be different. I expected it to be a community of scholars, where men and women were equals. It was not. Despite living in a coed dorm, rules differed for men and women. Women, but not men, were restricted to their floors after midnight, and had to be in dorm by that time. No late-night runs for pizza. Not even a chance to meet the pizza guy in the lobby to accept delivery. If a women left the dormitory in the evening, she had to write where she was going, with whom, a contact phone number, and expected time of return. The men were treated as adults; women were not.
I wrote a Declaration of Independence for the Women of Lincoln Tower. A group of us detached the sign-out books from the lobby counter, carried them outside and burned them in a bonfire for freedom. Today, we would be arrested. In the 60’s, we had a stern dressing-down from the Dean of Women and the Dean of Men.
It was unlikely that the books could be reordered and delivered before the year was out, so the sign-out system was suspended for the remainder of the year, and never reinstated. While all women students cheered this stand for our freedom, it did not truly reflect the underlying motivation of each woman.Too many were at university simply to find a well-educated husband who could support them. Too many had no interest in maintaining freedom through self-sufficiency. Too many were willing to sublimate their own identity as free women for the ease of being cared for by another.
As graduation approached these women panicked. “The best opportunity to find a rich husband is now! What will I do if I leave here and I am not engaged?” was an increasingly desperate question for them, and for their mothers, whose phone calls became more frequent. This was a new phenomenon to me. My Mother’s instructions were to get as much education as I could so I would never need to depend upon anyone; theirs was to find a rich husband so they would always have someone else to depend upon. This differing world view may explain a current quandary of mine.
That quandary is why any woman would vote for a Republican. But, I think I see how they could. They are the women I knew at university who believe a man will take care of them. Democratic women are those, like myself, who stand independently on their own feet, believe self-reliance brings true freedom, and form relationships with the men in their lives which are free and among equals. Perhaps, I cannot really know, Republican women are simply those women satisfied to be taken care of by a man. To each her own.
It is a free woman who decries anyone’s efforts to replace her decision-making with their own, be they a husband, bishop or a politician. It is a free woman who insists on joint discussion and decision making with her spouse, be their agreement or disagreement. Only when women are free to be themselves, are they free to love and free to share their lives with another. And all women Democratic or Republican seek freedom, even those who avoid expressing it in their relationships with the men in their lives. Even those who listened to their mothers and married up for financial security.
It is ironic that the very women willing to rely on men to take care of them, vote for men who say government has no, or very limited, role in taking care of the poor, the elderly, our health, our job security, our environment. Those men they trust to care for them, cannot be trusted to care for us. They promise to end ObamaCare.They promise to close the Departments of Education, Environment, Labor, Health and Human Services. They get very confused over which agencies exist and whether they should be closed, but they know they must be gone! They oppose Affirmative Action, an effort to assure African-Americans, and all people of color can stand on their own, and be independent of white largesse oblige.
And these are good men. These are men who take care of their women and children, and believe they deserve respect and loyalty for so doing, for their largesse oblige. They fail to see what is right before their eyes: women and children and people of color who are their equals. By caring for them they deserve no special rank, nor praise. We are all equals, we men and women and children of every color and nationality. We are in this together. We care for one another. We are our government. Our government is us. That is what it means to live in a democratic republic. Of course government will care for us, since we care for one another as equals entitled to the same opportunity for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
When we Democratic women challenge Republican men, Republican women will of course defend them upon whom the fortunes of their families rely. But, even Republican women now understand that such a paternalistic relationship can go and has gone, too far. Olympia Snowe(R) ME and Susan Collins (R)ME have supported President Obama’s efforts to assure insurance carriers provide women contraception coverage. “The women,” says Maria Cantwell, “are mad.” … you don’t feel this is an attack, you need to go home and talk to your wife and your daughters.”1 And Republican women are also speaking out, asking for support for their own contraceptive needs.2 We may be Democratic women. We may be Republican women. We are all sisters. It is time for women to take a second look at the men who would rule our lives. Ask Michelle Obama. She who is an equal among equals, one of us.
1. www.oregonlive.com › David Sarasohn › Columns
Apr 7, 2012 – “The women,” says Maria Cantwell, “are mad.” … you don’t feel this is an attack, you need to go home and talk to your wife and your daughters.”
2. http://julietjeske.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/on-birth-control-a-plea-to-republican-women/
Leave a comment
Filed under COMMENTARY, POLITICS
Tagged as college, contraception, Democratic women, Democrats, feminism, health cae, Maria Cantwell, Michelle Obama, obama, Obamacare, Olympia Snowe, politics, Republican women, Republicans, Susan Collins, university, women's health care