Tag Archives: conscience

MY FIRST AND ONLY CONFESSION

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Confession is good for the soul.

I have been told.

My first confession

at the age of seven

Took Sister Mary Claude,

whose diligence I applaud,

months to abate my fear.

First in line, I strode near

the confessional where Fr. Torre

waited to hear blood and gore

from little ones whose blame-game

only recently became a cause of shame.

With whispering words I began to confess.

“Father, forgive me.”( I felt such stress.)

“This is my first confession.”

Father stopped me right there

as I sat on the edge of the chair.

He was behind the screen,

a solemn, still figure barely seen.

“Please speak up so I can hear.”

And, so I did, and started to enumerate

all my sins, expecting him to strongly berate.

His words caused me even greater fear,

“Louise, not so loud, or all will hear.”

No longer did I worry who heard what.

He knew me, when I had been taught,

confession is anonymous.

Now, I felt infamous.

How could I face him across my Mother’s table

when he came each week that he was able

to eat her suga and Italian food;

and feel like family, with buoyant mood.

My only sin that day

was what I confessed every single Saturday,

“I disobeyed my Mother 10 times a day,

every day, of every week, of every year.

I was a disobedient child who shed no tears.

And over these many years

I have never changed my insolent creed

My father told me as I stood at his knee,

“Every man puts his pants on one leg at a time.

No one is better than you; (I liked that line)

and you are no better than anyone else.”

Equality set my soul free, made my heart pulse.

Equality became the base of all courage.

Equality kept me from being discouraged.

As a woman in a man’s world and profession.

I learned to speak up and out loud in my first confession.

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Filed under FAMILY STORIES, POETRY

LIGHT CANDLES

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Altars of sacrifice are all around.

Candles of prayer light the ground.

Darkness recedes under great duress.

Lawyers are in full-court press.

Evil lurks and lunges until we despair;

its laughter and cheers rend the air.

Turbulent times make us all too aware

how humans carry a heavy load of fear,

how ready we are to disappear

before we lose heart 

and break apart.

We are tempted to remain abed

and close our eyes against  the dread

of monsters who long played dead

and hid under rocks, yet lived in our heads.

We live lives of useless malcontent

ready to blame the innocent

for acts of contrition that belong

not to the weak, but, to the strong.

Unable to admit we could be wrong,

we allow the liars to string us along.

We vote them in to replace our lost pride.

We set all reason and facts aside.

We wear red hats with slogans to hide

a weakness too fearful to abide.

When will such depravity end?

What harm done in the interim?

Soft exhales out in metered prose.

Screams trapped within a calm pose.

This is how every morning begins.

Candles relit on altars within.

Resistance alights again and again.

Another hour, another day, and then?

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Filed under POETRY, POLITICS