Tag Archives: friendship

When we become isolated as we did for Covid 19 we stopped meeting those good souls who bring light and laughter to our world. We have along way to go to heal that sense of isolation. We can do it one moment at a time.

If we rely on social media, the entertainment industry, or even the news to bring others to us we face the stories least likely to display the inherent goodness of man and beast. “If it bleeds, it leads” rules our airwaves, our social media accounts, our own prurient interest.

This does not only damage our children, as studies show. It damages all of us. It is no wonder 38% percent of Americans sought mental health care during the past year.

Putting down the cell phone, closing the I-Pad, shutting down the computer is a life-affirming act. Engage other human beings who may be on their devices trying to connect with somebody, with anybody! Make eye contact whenever you get the chance. Interrupt your silence while waiting in interminable lines that have become the service sector’s bane, caused by understaffing. Talk to others waiting with you. Not, with a complaining voice; but, with an interested voice. The world lost millions of people who were productive workers, who made things run smoothly for all of us. Feel their loss with compassion for them, and for those left behind trying to fill their shoes. There is no fault in trying to cross fault lines with generosity for others’ struggles. Look in the face of the disgruntled worker at the fast food counter. Ask how they are doing. Listen and watch their expression ease. Perhaps, even garner a smile.  

We are human beings doing our best with all that we have. Some of us have more to work with. Some of us have less. Everyone struggles with something. We need not carry others’ crosses. But, we can walk beside them, act as witness and ally to their struggle, encourage and support them with our strength, our love, and our respect.

This week has been one filled with unpleasant errands. Each time I was helped by someone who had few smiles and was overwhelmed by work. Yet, each person responded to my request for help with a gentle regard. Each person became more relaxed, smiled more, even laughed as I looked them in the eye and asked about their lives as they bent to the task of helping me. They performed acts of kindness, as they probably do hundreds of time a week. As I leave, I always tell such workers to thank their mother for raising such a wonderful son or daughter. Everything about their demeanor comes alive. They stand taller. Their shoulders drop and pull back. The creases around their mouth disappear. Their smiles appear. Everyone is someone’s child. everyone needs to be noticed. Perhaps, if we pay more attention to those who do good, more of us would be good.

I am guilty, too often, of bringing attention to the fools of this world who legislate, print, speak, and promote hate. Today, I want to remind myself and you of all those who courageously do good, despite being ignored and even disrespected. I want to thank all those who devote their hours, days and lives to  being there when needed by others:  the surgeons doing open-heart surgery on two of my dear friends, the UPS clerk who returns unwanted Amazon purchases, the tire guy who explains how tires work and deteriorate over time and which brand works best just for my car, the pharmacist who fills a prescription and the tech who answers questions over and over and over, the phone scheduler who finds a location with ease of access not simply an open date for an appointment, the neighbor who put out my recycling bin and returned it to its proper spot without being asked, the friend who called who really had nothing to say but “I love you”; yet, not in those words.I enjoyed my wait at the car dealer with  the Muslim woman who spoke of teaching her children to pray and know the Koran at summer camp and listened to my story of teaching Catholic children prayers and the Bible in public-school-kid summer camp, the Italian-American woman who laughed as we shared family stories only Italians would find funny while we all waited. Lest I forget my beastly friends, thanks to the feral cat who chased the rabbits out of the garden, the songbird trilling a song while hundreds of fireflies danced in my yard last night. 

There are so many ways to hide from one another. There are few good reasons to do so. Those reasons which do require hiding are fraught with danger and not to be ignored. But, too many times, our fears our unfounded. They are based on prejudice and ignorance. Too many times, we are simply afraid to look foolish. I challenge you to look like a fool today. Talk to someone you have never met, nor been introduced to as if they were a long-lost friend. You might just find out that they are your friend, even if just for a moment in time. The moments add up. Trust builds. Hope builds. Faith builds. And most importantly, love builds. Few of us are great. Few of us are famous. Few of us have any clue what we are about. But each of us can look others in the eye and speak, then listen with respect and interest. One moment at a time we can reconnect our world, a world where trust in one another creates a free, peaceful, and loving union of our citizens.