Tag Archives: parenting

MY FIRST AND ONLY CONFESSION

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Confession is good for the soul.

I have been told.

My first confession

at the age of seven

Took Sister Mary Claude,

whose diligence I applaud,

months to abate my fear.

First in line, I strode near

the confessional where Fr. Torre

waited to hear blood and gore

from little ones whose blame-game

only recently became a cause of shame.

With whispering words I began to confess.

“Father, forgive me.”( I felt such stress.)

“This is my first confession.”

Father stopped me right there

as I sat on the edge of the chair.

He was behind the screen,

a solemn, still figure barely seen.

“Please speak up so I can hear.”

And, so I did, and started to enumerate

all my sins, expecting him to strongly berate.

His words caused me even greater fear,

“Louise, not so loud, or all will hear.”

No longer did I worry who heard what.

He knew me, when I had been taught,

confession is anonymous.

Now, I felt infamous.

How could I face him across my Mother’s table

when he came each week that he was able

to eat her suga and Italian food;

and feel like family, with buoyant mood.

My only sin that day

was what I confessed every single Saturday,

“I disobeyed my Mother 10 times a day,

every day, of every week, of every year.

I was a disobedient child who shed no tears.

And over these many years

I have never changed my insolent creed

My father told me as I stood at his knee,

“Every man puts his pants on one leg at a time.

No one is better than you; (I liked that line)

and you are no better than anyone else.”

Equality set my soul free, made my heart pulse.

Equality became the base of all courage.

Equality kept me from being discouraged.

As a woman in a man’s world and profession.

I learned to speak up and out loud in my first confession.

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YOUNG AND OLD

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The young ones seem to know

that our world is threatened

is ways we not fully know

but fear all the same.

With each sunrise

another un-nerving surprise

until we are afraid to awaken,

afraid to open our eyes.

Not so, the young 

for whom time moves slow

and each change is noted

and each move forward

is celebrated, not feared.

But, we, the old 

whose breath is slowed

while time speeds away

know life becomes shorter

day by day;

even if the earth 

should pass away.

It will not be without us long.

We are growing weaker

as the young grow strong.

So, we must listen

to their protest and shouts.

They understand better

what each bully tactic is about.

We pretend it is only intimidation.

In reality, it is annihilation;

the end of freedoms seldom known

in ages past. As time has flown

we old ones forgot to pay attention.

Now, the young, whom we also ignored

beg for our attention.

We are never too old to mother the young.

We are never too old to stop what has begun.

We may not be able to march so far as they.

But we can shout from each of our front doors.

We can organize, assist and earnestly pray.

We can honk as we pass the marchers on parade.

We can give courage to those who are afraid.

We can write and call those in charge of our fate.

Time passes quickly for us, but it is not too late.

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MERE POSSESSION

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Being part of a collection

may not be

lack of true affection.

In truth, it may mean

one is a treasured possession.

Such lonely, lonely honor 

disturbs connection.

Dust gathers on the shelf

as one is admired upon occasion,

and coats the confident self

in dismay and utter confusion.

Untouched, unfelt, 

as time passes, hearts 

become too hard to melt.

Harder to recall all one felt.

Until one feels

nothing at all.

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HOW TO CHOOSE A BABYSITTER

ATLANTA, GEORGIA – AUGUST 24: In this handout provided by the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office, former U.S. President Donald Trump poses for his booking photo at the Fulton County Jail on August 24, 2023 in Atlanta, Georgia. Trump was booked on 13 charges related to an alleged plan to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election in Georgia. Trump and 18 others facing felony charges have been ordered to turn themselves in to the Fulton County Jail by August 25. (Photo by Fulton County Sheriff’s Office via Getty Images)

Babysitters don’t come cheap.

They are hard to find sometimes.

One wants to be chosen

to guard the those you hold most dear;

to protect them so you need not fear.

Ignore that he is a convict,

convicted on 34 charges,

awaiting sentencing.

Your children will not know, nor mind.

And the criminal charge of rape 

was never made.

The statute of limitations had passed.

The new babysitter-to-be did have to pay

the woman the civil jury found he raped.


Photo by Christian Wasserfallen on Pexels.com

He had to pay when he lied about her charge

and defamed her for telling us what he did to her.

You do not have any daughters, right?

Your sons may be okay unless

he teaches them his ideas of sex-play.

And do not leave your  checkbook or credit card lying about. 

He has a need to cheat, defraud and steal, the lout.

But you can lock them in the safe, right?

Of course your children cannot be locked away.

But, you think he is safe, you say?

Then by all means choose this babysitter on voting day.

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THE LUCKIEST PERSON ALIVE

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Luck is likely geography

the geometry

of prime position,

being, simply being,

in the right place

at the right time.

Who decides 

the time and place

you occupy?

We all know

parents try.

Rules create boundaries

to block the egress

from places

you would fly.

Custom dictates

and you comply.

Ask yourself

the reason why.

Find your position.

claim your space.

Make your own luck

in life’s race;

In prime position

to allow you to hold on

with a smiling disposition,

and to truly become

the luckiest person alive.

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SELF-STUDY 2

Louise Annarino ( upper right) with neighborhood friends, personal photos

Only the stump of the gangly tree remained

after Grandpa, who did not conceive the dream,

destroyed the dream with each cut of the limbs

of the tree from which his grandson fell and broke an arm.

To Grandpa the tree had lost its charm.

It had to be cut down to avoid more harm.

Adults are funny that way.

They too often see harm in children’s play.

Children, little heathens that they be,

expect harm with regular frequency.

And, so, the tree was cut off from us, but we

built a tree house anyway, in which to play;

and warned all adults to stay away.

It was not built prettily; but, with whatever

we pulled from cans along the alley,

and raided from piles of trash.

To a child such piles are a treasure cache.

Thus, we kids our tree house celebrated

though Grandpa was far from elated.

“Let them be, Pop,” Mom laughingly stated.

“Kids will be kids, as once were we.”

Lessons learned from a time so long gone,

remembered now, to remind us how strong

the need to create and celebrate rises

despite the times all goes wrong.

Life is simply full of surprises.

Building from trash is sometimes the wisest

and the best which we can do.

This is my self-study two.

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LOVING HARD

Today is my Mother’s birthday. If she had lived beyond the age of 70 she would be 98 years old today. She could not survive lung cancer. she is no longer walking the earth but she yet lives in the hearts and minds of those who knew and loved her, who still love her. 

Angela Abbruzzi (Abbruzzese)Annarino was not always easy to love. She was, after all, a mother of four children, equally difficult to love. Love is not easy. Love is demanding…when done right. Mom did it right. 

She never lost sight of her own humanity and ours. She demanded we become the best we could be, no matter the cost to our pride and dignity. She would often discipline us openly before guests, bystanders, family and friends. When this was thrown in her face by her recalcitrant daughter she would reply, “ I don’t care if the president of the United States or Jesus Himself were standing here while I discipline you. You will be behave yourself.” Dad, if he were around would remind us “ everyone puts his pants on one leg at a time.” My parents did not disrespect those “above” us. They just did not believe anyone was more important than anyone else. Whatever the audience, our behavior was openly challenged; our failures disclosed.

They loved us so hard. They made it hard not to be our best. We often failed Mom’s expectations. We never lost her love. What a great lesson she taught us. Be direct. Be truthful. Be real. Be transparent. Try hard. Get up after you fail. Try again. You are loved. Keep trying.You are no better than anyone else. Nor is anyone else better than you. Keep trying no matter who is watching. No matter what vulnerability anyone else sees in you. No matter what anyone else thinks of you. Keep trying. The only way we could fail was to not try. 

Loving hard builds strong children. High expectations builds confidence in the realistically foreseeable, and repeatedly expected, failures of childhood. Mom’s expectations never lessened, so we had to keep trying. I am so very grateful to my Mother for demanding so much from us. She also taught me to demand more from others. To expect the best from others. To acknowledge their humanity, “warts and all”, while loving them and supporting them to be the best they could be. And, to never expect more of anyone else than I expected of myself. She taught me to love hard.

Happy Birthday, Mom. Grazie! I love you, “warts and all”.

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MEMORIES ALIGHT

12-06-2021

Every morning as I made my bed, I started a new chapter in my book of life by telling myself, for example, “Today is the chapter where Louise starts school; or ate with the hobos by the river, or turned black and blue all over.” Each life experience began a new chapter. Today is my thousandth, or more, chapter. Today is the chapter where Louise writes her book for others to read. Not that others have not been reading me for nearly 73 years by simply watching and reporting upon my shenanigans. Today, they go to print.

Life for me was a book being written chapter by chapter. Sometimes under my control; most often, not. That was the exciting part; the part that kept me truly alive. Each episode was laid out thoughtfully, straightened and smoothed as I straightened and smoothed the sheets on my bed. There was always a need to recognize and tend to the rough edges and lumps. They required hands willing to pull tout the seams exposed by the tossing and  tumbling of a child’s restless dreams created in my sleep. I once asked my Mother, “ Mommy, when I get up in the morning is this my real life? Or, is my real life what I dream after I go to bed? They are both the same, both as real. How can I tell why is real?” My mother’s answer, after shrugging off the slight frown of surprised concern on her face, was clear and concise. She said, “ I don’t know where you go in your dreams. But your real world is here with me. This life with me is your real life. And that is where you shall stay.” The sheets, this life, continue to need straightening and smoothing.

My earliest memory of this life is the slatted play of light and shadow across my body as I lay on my back in my crib. The shadows moved with the sun, sometimes dancing in strange patterns if the wind blew. I could feel the light and dark dancing in the breeze across my skin. I was too young to understand how any of this occurred. The memory simply tells me what and where. I recall small hands tossing something aside to grasp the light in a tiny fist, I hear the sound of gurgling laughter as I cheerfully played this game of “catch the light.” Whose fist is that? Mine? Curious, I asked my mother where my crib had been placed? My younger brother had just been born and his crib was in  my parent’s bedroom. But, I recalled this light play in a corner of another room. I showed Mommy where the memory indicated and she said, “This is where your crib had been placed, but surely you cannot remember such a thing. You were too young. I told her I always heard a loud thud as I reached for the light. “You always threw your bottle out of the crib. I had the hardest time getting you to take a bottle in the crib.” She believed me then.

Memory is a fascinating teacher. Pieces of memory do not hold equal value. Many pieces are lost in the shuffle as we arrange the puzzle pieces that create a life.Those memories we recall may seem senseless. But, it is those tiny, seemingly senseless, memories which hold the greatest value when examined closely, their rough edges smoothed and straightened. 

In these dark days of December, we remember that life is the interplay of darkness and light, the void and creation, destruction and rebirth. Every solstice changes the rhythm. This memory mattered to me enough to remember it and its recognize its value. The sense of beauty and awe in the dance of light and shadow across my body opened my senses to the wondrous impermanence of their interplay; and the expectation of their further encounters. This awe at such beauty stayed with me. Even on the darkest nights of my soul as I cared for dying parents, faced the struggles of chronic illness which stripped away so much of the life I had I built. Even then, there was beauty in the dance between light and dark, hope and fear, known and unknown. How could anyone forget such memory?

I am glad I chose to grasp the light in my tiny fists. Glad I chose open hands, and tossed that bottle out of the crib. I chose food for the soul. And in these dark days I choose both darkness and light, the good and the bad. Each. Both. Together they create a beauty beyond understanding. Together they fill me with hope, and the courage to face the unknown. And together, with open hands, we can gather the light into a beacon to lead us out of the darkness we now face.

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