Wondering who you are becoming after the struggle to redefine your life during a global pandemic which changed the rules on how to live? I do. My one goal since December 2019 was to survive, and help as many persons as possible to survive with me. Now, survival becomes a possibility, if we can eliminate the threat of global mutation and spread. If we do not, a newer, deadlier variant will swing back around. But, for now, I have hope for continued survival. I am ready to consider being reborn, transformed. Are you?
I stayed at home alone on Christmas. By January 2020 I was refusing to attend any public gathering and private parties. I started ordering groceries. I had purchased a box of N95 masks and suggested others in my family do so as well. They all looked at me askance and asked, “why?” I explained there had been reports of an airborne virus spreading rapidly in China, one never before seen. One, killing a large percentage of those infected and causing severe symptoms likely to linger for unknown period of time in its survivors. They looked at me askance. They continued with life as usual. I continued to batten down the hatches, the crazy old woman of the family no one understood; but, loved despite my eccentric behavior.
This reaction was not new to me. Whatever tidal wave of energy created me in my Mother’s womb it was not familiar to my parents. I asked so many questions as a toddler, trying my Mother’s patience. But, she always would attempt to answer. For example, “Why does it get dark at night; then, light again?” Patiently, Mom explained, “It gets dark when the sun goes down; then it gets light when the sun comes up.” “But, why? Where does the sun go?” Mom would then tell me the earth revolves around the sun. It does not go anywhere. “We are turning on the Earth,” she said. “But, how does the Earth turn?” Sighing Mom gathered two bouncy balls and showed me how the earth rotates changing the sun falling on the ball’s surface. “But, why does the earth turn?”, I asked. “Because of gravity, I think” she answered. “What is gravity?” I asked. She then explained gravity was a force. Which comment led to tides, falling down after jumping etc. Every such conversation ended with my asking, “But, why?”; and my mother answering simply, “Because”. Over the years she called me her little “why because”. As I got older and questions continued unabated, she would comment, “ I don’t know whose womb you came from; but it was not mine.” WHAT! “But, why would you say that, Mommy?”
The first day of school I got there an hour earlier than anyone else after begging Dad to take me in on his way to open his restaurant for the breakfast crowd. He explained to Sr. Aloysius how eager I was was to learn all I could, as fast as I could. She gave me a first grade reader after allowing me to choose my seat. I chose the one right in front of her desk, of course. Day one was a dream. Day two ended as a nightmare. After class I stayed to return my reader, asking for the next book. Sister explained that this single book was our reader… for the year. For the year! “But, why?”, I asked. “I read it last night. I cannot read the same book all year.” Sister asked me to read page one. Then, she flipped to mid-section asking me to read; then to the last page. When she realized I had indeed read the entire book, she looked at me askance and asked, “what am I going to do with you?” Just like my own mother often ended a conversation. I was doomed.
One day, many months after my viral warnings, a niece asked me, “how did you know this would happen?” How did I know? How did anyone not know? Anyone paying attention would have known. Why are we so unwilling to pay attention. “Attention, everyone!” Sound familiar? We hear this everywhere we go. The most common teacher’s comment to students. Of course, we human beings must always be reminded to “pay attention.” Even with the threat of global annihilation of millions of our brethren we must be reminded to “PAY ATTENTION.” This has never been more important than it is in this moment, when the entire planet is about to be reborn. We are in a moment of such transformation that the attention of each of us is critical. Our entire planet Mother Earth faces rebirth, as well. I would like to be here to witness it.
In this transformative time of rebirth we can decide who we are, who we will become. We are still in our mother’s wombs yet. But the moment of rebirth is soon ahead. Ask “why?” always ask that question as you proceed to learn who you are to become. Decide whose womb you are in; one creating a person who honors all life and respects it enough to give it our attention, or one whose self-interest trumps the needs of our earth and all who live by earth’s bounty. Pay attention. I will not look askance at you. I will notice. I will be grateful. I will rejoice! I love you, Mom, for always honoring the “why”. Happy Mother’s Day…everyone.
annarino writes 