Tag Archives: women

May 7, 2022 · 12:34 pm

ODE TO MY BROTHERS

Three brothers had I by my side.

Clothed in Sicilian charm

and girded by American pride

they showed up unexpectedly

to protect and defend their sister.

I  valued their strength and their lift.

I lifted weights by their side.

Still they believed 

they were more fit than I,

who won ever race

on ballerina legs in full stride.

All went well 

unless I tried to tell 

them what to do or how.

Respect was a two-way street;

except, there were only a few 

I was free to pursue.

So, I disobeyed brothers’ orders

and crossed all the borders

they tried to enforce.

Still, they showed up unexpectedly

at every movie and dance 

where young men might be

looking for a chance

to cajole and control a young lady.

I discovered, that unlike loving brothers such as mine,

men could be cruel and threatening

to women who refused

to stay in their place.

I am a sister much blessed

by noogies and teasing

that seem relentless.

I am a sister well-loved,

a sister well-protected,

and always respected.

What do women want?

We want it all.

Just like men do.

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May 6, 2022 · 12:32 pm

FALLING FROM A MORE PERFECT UNION

Alito’s words stilled my own.

A falling body has no time

to waste on words when breath

is so precious and undermined

by space displaced by diving

thoughts toward a very dark place.

It is not just Roe which falls with me;

but, likely Obergefell, Griswold 

and Loving, too. So old,

I recall them all. The sacred tome

which gives the rights owed humanity

is our constitution which gives privacy a home

of safety, freedom and security.

Alito steals them all from me.

The greater fear is that he would say

mob rule would bind our hands again 

with state’s rights to up-end a nation’s democracy.

The word privacy does not exist, so he says.

Nor does the word slavery, nor contraception,

nor sexuality, nor women’s and persons of color’s

right to vote and have a say in lives they own;

because they don’t in the words originally

written for white land-owning gentlemen alone.

But that is the  point, one no longer hidden.

White male supremacy, and protecting the wealthy

is Republicans’ true north. Which is why 

even women support letting democracy die.

Why even kind men still vote for extremist

candidates they know can save their wealth

by telling the most outrageous lies.

Stolen election is not the first lie.

The first was that women and Africans are less

than any white man of wealth could allow

to be free, for fear their fields of wealth

once shared, would lie fallow. 

I thought I could no longer write poetry

while my love for country makes me cry

knowing my beloved Law is often denied.

The law is sacrosanct, you see. 

Alito’s words mean the courts are no longer free.

And that will be the death of the rights

of you and me, and perhaps the world

whom my country once led toward democracy.

The world is falling along with me.

I am not alone if you join me and vote 

for those who would protect us as we fall,

and right the wrong words which stand so tall

we can no longer recognize truth at all.

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January 16, 2022 · 3:16 pm

Weak Cores

Saving face

By creating truth

Is the only means of escape

From harsh reality

For those whose core

Is thinned and weak

By lack of moral exercise.

Bread and circuse

Did Rome in.

History ignored

Is repeated evermore.

Distraction through attraction

Diverts the gaze, the ear, the tongue.

This is who we live among.

Doing what is correct

Does not reflect the Right

Constantly claiming false

It’s moral might

Over those whose outrage

Threatens their control,

Their wealth, their privilege.

New faces in new places

Where they were not allowed before

Distort the world view

Of the autocratic few.

It takes strong core

Muscles to stand tall

Before the attack of falsehood

Destroys us all.

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January 15, 2022 · 6:13 pm

GRIEF LINES ABOUT THE BROW

GRIEF LINES ABOUT THE BROW

1-15-2022

I held grief at bay

in tightened fists

determined not to allow

its escape, until I lay

it down upon the page,

Where it sapped my strength.

Taking up the pen

is little help today

when the nib etches lines

of grief about my brow,

too close to allow the flow

of ink upon the page.

Democracy means more to those

More recently saved upon its shores.

The lands of autocrats and hypocrites,

we thought, had been left

behind, beyond our pained sight;

now resurrected by the Republican right.

A Right reinforced by clerics bent

on reasserting ties long rent

between church and state,

Now reinstated by the Court

and pro-life misogynist dictum

making women victims.

The Right backlash to Obama

is a fierce and hateful trauma

which dares to take away

our diversity and our vote,

our personhood and culture,

our history and democracy.

Grief is still heavy today

but less than yesterday.

Today ink flows steadily,

freely, hopefully daring leaders

to find the courage to save the vote,

and this beloved country.

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December 17, 2021 · 11:27 am

IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

Babies conceived by woman

alone

no fuss, no sex, no mess, no male.

responsible for it all,

alone.

Keep all women virgins

then, now, forever.

Keep all men out of it

and out of women.

Except, we don’t.

it is all pretend,

a virgin birth

play without end.

“Sacrilege!” some would say.

But I remember Sister Robertine’s words:

“It is a man’s world, but a woman’s heaven.”

Girls suffer to be saints

while men sin.

So easy, then, for men

to decry a woman’s need

to end

the fruits of their sin.

Love supplants virginity,

not sanctity.

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September 4, 2020 · 11:58 pm

Not My Job to Handle Your Feelings

Over 25 years ago our state bar association convened a group of women lawyers, 2 from each county, to address sexist laws and regulations, and court practices. I represented the county in which I practiced law. We met on Malcolm X’s birthday so I implored the group to also address racism as well. It seemed, I suggested, that only addressing sexism was insufficient to create justice. And as Malcolm said,” If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem”. The group agreed to expand its review and its reach.

The breakout sessions were useful. We formed sub-groups to research specific areas. At the close of the day the Chief Justice of our state Supreme Court, a man, and the president of the state bar association, a man, spoke to the group. They appeared a bit unsettled by our enthusiasm for the project. My comments citing Malcolm X contributed to their appearing to be ill at ease. One of the men advised us to ” go easy on the men” because our efforts and comments would ” hurt their feelings” and make them uncomfortable. They told us we need to “help them with their feelings” as we discussed and delivered our findings. It might be too upsetting for them.

That did it! I rose up out of my seat and announced that as women, and as African-Americans the lawyers in the room already had to handle our own emotions because of the sexism and racism we experienced from those same men. And it took all our strength to do so. It was not our job to handle their feelings, too. They would have to handle their own feelings.

I explained that we agreed to help our bar association and our state courts correct that sexism and racism which had made our justice system so oppressive to women and African-Americans. The least the men could do was handle their own feelings, responses and actions.the room grew so quiet one could have heard a pin drop. The men paled, and shrugged helplessly. They had no clue how offensive their comments had been. They were gentlemen and I was …. not.

This belief that the oppressed are expected to ” tread lightly” so as to ” protect men’s feelings” is exactly was the police ask if those protesting the police brutality that hides behind the Blue Line. That is not our job. The police who understand better than any the effects of police brutality need to handle their own feelings and their own actions. And those who stand up and advise us to not make them ” uncomfortable” ask too much.

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September 27, 2014 · 3:31 pm

Walking in Grace, Louise Annarino,9-27-2014

WALKING IN GRACE, Louise Annarino,9-27-2014

Being human is terrifying. Being aware carries the burden of striving to be correct. To err invites injury to ourselves, to those with whom we share the planet, and to the planet itself. We also fear others who err; and even more so, those who would do us harm. It is a scary world we live in, internally and externally. And yet, living in this the world is such an amazing experience, majestic and breathtakingly beautiful. Our world is of such beauty that we transcend our fears most of the time. How we do so is both delightful and comforting.

We laugh. What a gift. Laughter dismisses fear to such an extant that some of us lose muscle control and “fall down laughing”, making ourselves totally vulnerable to all the scary stuff we know surrounds us.

We cry. What a gift. Tears reduce us to a molten mass falling into one another’s arms with no fear of retaliation or control by the other. We are most vulnerable when we laugh and when we cry. Yet, these moments are often our most memorable, and most satisfying. These are moments of grace.

We can chose to live in grace,even when we are not experience the comforting joy of another’s comedic safety net for our fears, nor the calming security of another’s embrace. We can choose to live in grace when everything around us shouts “danger.” Living in grace allows us to transcend fear. I refuse to be afraid. I choose to live in grace.

When I was a prison social worker I worked in a women’s maximum security facility housing inmates whom society so feared that our courts locked these women away. Visiting those locked into the most restrictive cell block, maximum security, was discouraged. This short-term lock up was to isolate a particularly intractable inmate who had behaved too violently to remain within the general population. They were not permitted to leave the cell for any reason. They were left alone for days or weeks. As a social worker, I believed such an event was a “teachable moment”,when I could perhaps break through the bravado and masks of an inmate who normally would not welcome my company or conversation.

These women in max were starving for human contact. Thus began my frequent visits to max. The first day, the single guard on duty did not know what to do with me, having never received visitors before. But, he unlocked the corridor door and accompanied me to the first cell in which a woman from my caseload was locked up. After about five minutes of standing by the door he asked how long I would be. “Thirty minutes” was too long for him to stand around so I suggested he let me into the cell and he could then go back to his seat. His eyebrows shot to his head as he suggested to me it was not safe. I asked the woman, “He thinks you will hurt me if he lets me inside alone with you.Will you harm me?” After a short pause to consider, she said,”no.” The guard then locked me into the maximum security cell and I told him I would call him when I was ready to leave. After I left that cell, women from other case loads called out my name as I passed by asking to speak with me. I visited every woman in max that day and every few days after. The guard and I followed the same protocol each time: lock me inside, then come when I call to let me out.

The moments I spent locked into maximum security with the most violent offenders in the prison were moments of grace. We shared laughter and tears. We explored the pain and fear that led to the violence. I tried to “always leave them laughing,” and living in grace.

The write-ups for violence on my caseload diminished and extinguished. I was called in for a discussion with the Associate Director and charged with being too permissive. How else to explain why the women for whom I was responsible were no longer getting into trouble? Another bone of contention was my crisis intervention strategy. I had instructed my caseload to yell out “Call Annarino!” whenever they were about to become violent with a guard or other inmate, instead of letting the violent feelings flare into harmful words or actions. Before long the guards knew to call me and everyone waited somewhat peacefully and guardedly, until I arrived. At which time, I explained everyone involved would get a chance to tell their truth without interruption. I dismissed the usual onlookers hoping for a good fight, promising to stop by their work or class site later to fill them in on what happened after they left. This substantially reduced the risk of group pressure and blustering bravado which often led to mass violence. Once only the critical participants were left, the preaching the truth was followed my mediated conversation.

It did not occur to me that armed guards would find it embarrassing for a 22 year old woman weighing 102 pounds could protect them from harm with mere words. Just before I lost my job, I was told my job was not to empower inmates but to treat them as the “dog chained up in the back yard: when they howl, shut them up.” Instead I had given them a voice. It did not seem to matter that their voice was calm, peaceful and truth-seeking rather than violent curses accompanied by physical attacks. They had learned to live in grace, which seemed to scare people even more. This is the power of non-violence. When we let go of fear, we find truth and the truth is what sets us free.

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January 26, 2014 · 4:54 pm

There is No War on Women,by Louise Annarino,1-25-2014

There is No War on Women,By Louise Annarino

 

There is no war on women. What we are watching play out is an age-old phenomenon of men who fear women’s sexual expression. Whether it is the Taliban, fundamentalist Muslims-Jews-Christians,or Mike Huckabee, the chastisement and need to control women springs from men’s fear of loss of their own control. I refuse to allow their fear to become my burden. I suggest they learn to handle it all, as I must handle my own fears. Their fear, their loss of control, is not my problem; but, they insist on making it so. I don’t call that a war. I call it fear mongering.

 

We use the word war too loosely. We enjoy hyperbole because it grabs our attention,holds our imagination, and allows us to believe we are heroes(another word used too loosely)fighting some grand battle. Anyone who has ever experienced war is insulted by this cavalier use of the word. Anyone who have ever acted heroically is appalled by its frequent use in today’s lexicon. As William Tecumseh Sherman who marched on Atlanta destroying all in his wake said in his address to the Michigan Military Academy in June 19, 1879, “You don’t know the horrible aspects of war. I’ve been through two wars and I know. I’ve seen cities and homes in ashes. I’ve seen thousands of men lying on the ground, their dead faces looking up at the skies. I tell you, war is Hell!” (Battle Creek Enquirer and News,Nov.18,1933). I cannot use the word “war” to describe anything but war. Fear is not war; and, unless we name what is happening correctly, we cannot address the problem we face correctly.

 

This fear of male loss of control when faced with female sexual expression has biological roots. http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/how-male-female-brains-differ Men’s brains are structured with less ability to maintain rational thought while in the throes of emotion. Of course they fear women whose brains allow them to cry,laugh,orgasm and think at the same time. Whom should we blame for this? The Hebrews tell a story of the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, in the Garden of Eden. Most of us have at least heard that story a time or two. There are two elements to that story: obedience to the male deity transferred to obedience to the first male, Adam. Who was to be obedient to these male prototypes? The woman. What do fig leaves have to do with the story? They are used to cover up human sexual expression, and thus control sexual expression which becomes sinful when the woman does not obey the man. That is what is going on today!

 

The Hebrews were not the first to tell such a story. Earlier cultures and religious traditions acknowledged the power of female sexuality; some accepted it and used it as an avenue to spiritual awakening a la the Vestal Virgins. Others fearfully suppressed it, a la female genital mutilation. We see vestiges of these practices today throughout our world. It is not only Mike Huckabee and Republican men who fear women. Democrats,Libertarians,Independents and a host of other men do, too. The men who do not fear women are able to trust and appreciate women, able to understand the biology of male/female differences without feeling inferior, and able to see diversity as an enriching experience,not one to be feared. There is that word “diversity” which too many of us fear. Such men exist within all political parties and religions.

 

Although I do not see such fear of women as merely a Republican issue, one must acknowledge that the Republican Party platforms have opposed Affirmative Action,our ONE effort to practice diversity; while the Democratic Party platform has embraced diversity.The Republican Party platform opposes women’s right to birth control and abortion,to freely manage her health needs to freely express her body’s sexuality; while the Democratic Party has embraced a woman’s right to choose how she uses her body sexually and how to protect her health. We cannot ignore that these two party positions are different, even though men are the same biological creatures, dealing with the same fears in both parties.

 

As a woman,I am not satisfied with the behavior of men in either party. It is not enough to add women to the mix, when the men make all the final decisions, and too often ignore and disparage our female voices. When women’s only strength comes from a separate women’s caucus, whose leaders are the strongest and wisest and most experienced political activists I know, rather than being hired into positions of political power we know we still have a long way to go. We may have “come a long way baby”,finally being allowed to participate in the race; but, the race officials-funders-judges are still men who too often control our political expression. The words men use to describe their view of women is not the problem. Their fear of women’s full and free use of her power is the problem. Huckabee apologists are busy trying to reframe how to control women as if male manners need fixed. Instead, they should focus on facing their own fears and finding their courage in the face of female power and sexuality.

 

 

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February 22, 2013 · 1:51 pm

Will Tribalism Trump Citizenship?

Will Tribalism Trump Citizenship? By Louise Annarino,2-22-2013

 

My Mother’s side of the family is planning our first ever family reunion. That this is happening during a time when I am wrestling with the differences between being part of a tribe or being a citizen of a nation indicates the synchronicity which operates throughout the multiverse. What does it mean to be part of a tribe? What does it mean to be a citizen?

 

My first struggle for identity was between two tribes: my Father’s and my Mother’s. Was I Sicilian like Dad; or,Napolitan like Mom? “Half and half” Mom explained. In our house we referrred to two other larger tribes: our paisans (which included Siciliani,Calabrese, and Napolitani etc.) or “the Americans”.

 

The American tribe seemed stranger to me than the paisan tribe, and trying to fit into that tribe was quite confusing. For example, when visiting Americani one had to wait one’s turn to speak,slowing down conversation, but creating time for reflection. Portion sizes were miniscule at meals. I once had dinner at the home of a school chum and each person was allotted 1/2 a pork chop. I was starving when I got home and dug out the cold lasagna,because of course we always had left-overs in our over-stuffed fridge. But, my friend’s family had money to attend the symphony,go to the art museum and attend ballet. Mom could sing an aria as well as Maria Callas, or a pop ballad as well as Frank,and we danced around the kitchen together every day. She had won a jitterbug contest at radio City Music Hall at age 16 and music and dance filled our home. Each tribe had a lot to offer and I understood adhering to tribal dictates would have been a mistake.

 

I did not like the sound of English.Italian was much more musical and passionate in its delivery,using hand movements to extend and deepen meaning.English seemed drab. When I asked my Mother to teach me Italian and speak it more often so I could understand the adult conversations of my older extended family better she offered my first instruction in the difference between tribalism and citizenship when she stated, “You are an American now. You will speak English and learn to be an American. I will not teach you Italian.It will not help you become an American;it will only hold you back.”

 

When I responded that maybe I did not want to be an American she strongly set me straight. “It is America which protects us and gives us a chance to have a decent life, and to live in peace and prosperity.” As a woman particularly, she warned me that I should be greatful to be an American. “It is not so easy to be an Italian woman,” she explained. We are lucky to be Americans and living in the best country on earth. Italy was the “old country”;America is our country now. At Thanksgiving, Mom cooked turkey with all the trimmings, plus antipasto, lasagna and garlic bread. At Christmas and Easter we ate ham plus ravioli. Tribally, we were both Sicilian and Napolitan,both Italian and American. As citizens we were all-American.

 

When I listen to fundamentalist,tea-party,NRA furor I hear tribalism trumping citizenship. When I read about the Taliban, AlQuaeda in the Magreb and other such groups I see tribalism trumping citizenship.Tribalism is a threat to peace, and must be kept in check. The Soviet Union was an horrific and failed effort to reduce tribalism. The United States of America is the wondrous and best example of a successful effort to reduce tribalism. How do we do so? Through our Bill of Rights which covers every single citizen,even though we are still trying to make that a reality in fact.

 

We end tribalism through citizenship. The nation becomes larger and more meaningful to a citizen whose rights and freedoms are protected and preserved, than his allegiance to a tribe, especially one which tramples upon human rights and fails to protect the human rights of every member of the tribe. This is why the Soviet-Union failed, why Al Quaeda will fail, why any tribe seeking to assert its authority over a nation instead of under a nation is doomed to fail.

 

Which brings me to immigration reform. We must never approve an immigration policy which focuses on controlling tribes and creating an underclass through work visas, or one which allows women to be denied full freedom. The centerpiece of any sound immigration policy must be a path to citizenship. Do we really want to allow various tribes to live within our borders without citizenship? Do we understand that this would endanger our democracy?

 

This is a real danger. Tribalism is a threat to those outside the tribe,and often to those within the tribe. The only reason America has been able to peaceably self-govern and overcome the tidal wave of tribes,with all their differences, is through offering full citizenship to those willing to pledge allegiance to our constitution and to our Bill of Rights, which often flies in the face of the tribe’s belief system. For example,The Violence Against Women Act is being opposed by Republicans in part because it affords protection against violence for immigrant women. Do we understand the tribalism which perpetrates such violence, under a veil or not? Do we understand the tribalism among some Republicans which would deny a human right to a woman outside the American tribe? Tribalism is a threat both from tribal Americans and from tribal immigrants.

 

Citizenship carries rights and privileges, but it also demands allegiance to an enlightened set of principles laid out in our Constitution and Bill of Rights. We can’t have one without the other.Those who would zealously guard such principles, must also demand such allegiance.However, if they do not offer the rights of citizenship, they cannot demand allegiance to America. For over 200 years we have not invited tribes to settle here;we have invited citizens to settle here. That has kept us safe.That has kept us free.

 

We cannot understand the importance of immigration policy unless we understand the difference between tribalism and citizenship.

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November 9, 2012 · 10:10 pm

OUR VOTES COUNTED, BUT WE DIDN'T?By Louise Annarino,November 9,2012

OUR VOTES COUNTED, BUT WE DIDN’T?,By Louise Annarino,November 9,2012

 

If we are to believe the media-take on the re-election of President Barack Obama, we managed to have our votes counted; but, we still don’t count. Despite the fact that Barack Obama won by a greater margin than George W. Bush without the need for court intervention to seal the deal, corporate media refuses to acknowledge president Obama’s mandate. Instead it sees his presidency as one calling for accession to the demands of those whose candidate lost the election and the majority of the electorate’s support for Republican policies.

 

The list denying a mandate includes: CBS Evening News’ Bob Schiefer. Washington Post’s Dan Balz. Politico’s Glenn Thrush,Jim VandeHei,and Mike Allen. CNN’s David Gergen, and Gloria Berger. FOX News’ Charles Krauthammer.Time Magazine’s Joe Klein.

 

Even NPR’s Cokie Roberts failed to credit the value of those who voted for the President and handed him a mandate when she described his challenge to govern in this way: “It is a divide where he’s lost whites, he’s lost Southerners, he’s lost people of a certain income and age, and he’s really got to do something fast to deal with that.”

 

Oh, I see now whose vote REALLY counts: whites (but not those whites who voted for Obama), Southerners (but not those Southerners who voted for Obama), people of a certain income and age( but not those wealthy, older persons who voted for Obama). Interestingly, the need to address the concerns of African-Americans, Latinos, Asians, young people, women and LGBT community seems to be of no concern to Ms. Roberts. Apparently, she thinks she knows who should be driving the bus, and who should ride in the back.

 

It is not because she sees division as a concern which disturbs me; we are all concerned about the divisions within our country. But, because she weighs the interests of those who do not support Obama as a greater issue for his attention than the mandate the majority of voters handed him on November 6 to enact the change we need to secure America’s future for all its citizens. It is the diminished value corporate media places on an Obama victory for those who do not look like them, earn what they earn, live like they live. By diminishing his win, they diminish his right to govern and they diminish the value of our vote. That diminishes all Americans.

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