Tag Archives: SIN

MY FIRST AND ONLY CONFESSION

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Confession is good for the soul.

I have been told.

My first confession

at the age of seven

Took Sister Mary Claude,

whose diligence I applaud,

months to abate my fear.

First in line, I strode near

the confessional where Fr. Torre

waited to hear blood and gore

from little ones whose blame-game

only recently became a cause of shame.

With whispering words I began to confess.

“Father, forgive me.”( I felt such stress.)

“This is my first confession.”

Father stopped me right there

as I sat on the edge of the chair.

He was behind the screen,

a solemn, still figure barely seen.

“Please speak up so I can hear.”

And, so I did, and started to enumerate

all my sins, expecting him to strongly berate.

His words caused me even greater fear,

“Louise, not so loud, or all will hear.”

No longer did I worry who heard what.

He knew me, when I had been taught,

confession is anonymous.

Now, I felt infamous.

How could I face him across my Mother’s table

when he came each week that he was able

to eat her suga and Italian food;

and feel like family, with buoyant mood.

My only sin that day

was what I confessed every single Saturday,

“I disobeyed my Mother 10 times a day,

every day, of every week, of every year.

I was a disobedient child who shed no tears.

And over these many years

I have never changed my insolent creed

My father told me as I stood at his knee,

“Every man puts his pants on one leg at a time.

No one is better than you; (I liked that line)

and you are no better than anyone else.”

Equality set my soul free, made my heart pulse.

Equality became the base of all courage.

Equality kept me from being discouraged.

As a woman in a man’s world and profession.

I learned to speak up and out loud in my first confession.

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MY FELLOW AMERICANS

MY FELLOW AMERICANS

I hold my tongue.

It takes strength I do not have.

Whimpers escape

On shattered breaths,

In silent screams.

The fight worries my soul,

Battle weary and choking,

On words held tight inside.

Once the scream begins

I doubt I could stop.

I wait for your speech.

I yearn for your promise

To stop the authoritarian

Who has taken over our house,

Emptied its vaults,

Stolen its wealth,

Sold its power

To the highest bidders.

So, I write. That I can do

While I wait for you.

To me, this nothing new.

Do you believe me now?

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EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE

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How easily done depends

on the sinner and sin done that day.

No “ I lay me down to sleep”

before this Catholic child closed her eyes.

An examination of conscience, 

a deep and complete review 

of my sins committed that day, as I prayed

in true contrition for my sins; and a promise

to make restitution to all I had harmed

in my self-centered, humanly-corrupted way.

Only then, could forgiveness be petitioned

and God swayed. Sister told me so in class.

Father told me so in the dark confessional.

I await an examination of conscience by all

who voted for MAGA  entranced and enthralled

by promises of heavenly and earthly reward

for allowing hate to invade and invoke

the souls of nation recently made awoke

by African-Americans and women who showed

they were equally great to any American.

Make America Great Again only meant

make America white again.

And my church paved the way.

Her misogyny always ready to deprive

women of any control over 

the length of their skirts,

the choice to love or escape 

abuse in any man’s embrace,

manage their reproductive health,

choose or excuse another’s hate.

Abortion became the rallying cry

to bring sinners off their knees and to the polls

to vote for the liars who played priests like fools.

There is no place for judgment or blame.

Sinners all, we play the same game.

There is a need for an examination of conscience,

for restitution to a nation’s sacred tenets defamed

by such reckless, sincere but sinful moves.

Now, priests and pastors see the error of their ways

as they accompany immigrants to hearings

to protect them from MAGA misrule?

The MAGA the churches helped elect

is not a surprise. And, it remains a sin to be

examined deeply, and completely reviewed.

I await the results of such a self-examination.

I await the restitution to be completed.

I await the apology for distorting Christian theology.

I await the chance to forgive, wholeheartedly.

I know my church is only human.

If only it could remember that truth.

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THE AMERICAN SIN

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The sins of the nation 

are visited upon its citizens.

We shouted long and hard

until bullets dropped

on Jacksonville and Kent State.

And that war stopped amid shouts

“Make war no more !”.

War must be stopped at every border

to end the slaughter

of its sons and daughters.

“Make war no more”

the children shouted

barefoot and flowered

and fought the greed

in second-hand shops 

and public gardens

and programs to up-lift those trampled

by endless war which still continued

because it is never enough

to halt the greed of those in power

hidden under rocks with prejudice

and hate who think themselves great

and lie to themselves, and us, hour by hour

smiling through games they create

to keep us all entertained

chasing dreams of American idols

with sports and drink 

gambling on undermined dreams

that can only come true 

for a celebrated few

who are told to take 

whatever they need

at our expense,  

and watch our liberties lost

while sitting on their fence.

We have become country-less

within our own  borders

as war is made, now against us.

And, the world goes on

as our nation dies 

snuffed out under a blanket

of base-less lies.

Greed destroys and religion belies

so long as it gains larger roofs,

and takes over and strafes

those sitting in its pews

praying with true intent

“make war no more”. 

A nation once thought heaven-sent

has lost its religion to endless greed

and our only lament 

is the cost of goods?

“It’s the economy, stupid” 

no longer applies, if it ever did

except to pretend their actions

are for our own good.

It has not and never has been.

Great Pirates and Robber Barons 

never recognize borders

when committing their sins.

Native Americans and those we enslaved

are  always attacked for

showing us the truth.

Gaining wealth is not the sin.

Greed is our greatest sin.

We must stop it on the borders

without and within.

Greed shored up with power

is the story of the hour.

Even those afraid to wake

are now learning

what the woke always

knew to be true.

The greedy care only

about themselves, 

not me, and not you.

We end where we begin,

mired by our own sin.

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WITHIN

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I thought I could not write because of my pain.

Not, so.

I hesitate to write because of my disdain.

You know.

I think you have may felt it before.

It rises not from my within.

It rises from your within. It is your most-feared sin.

It sleeps in the place your secrets are kept

of all the times you felt inept.

While I simply raced along your side,

trying to match all the runners with pride.

But, you did not want me there.

That is your eternal prayer.

You thought I should stay in my place.

You feared I could actually win the race.

You deep-down know how weak that feels.

You deep-down know how foul the appeal

to those who would embrace

every runner in the race.

So, you create fake news and tell stories

that cause the runners and watchers to worry

that the race is fixed, corrupt and costly.

You can only lose if there is nothing left to gain.

You prefer full destruction than your personal pain.

You care not the cost.

You cannot handle a loss.

It is you I disdain.

You, I hear explain in rambling detail the goodness,

rightness, advancement of hate.

You who shuts doors and padlocks the gates.

You, I watch burn books and erase history.

You, who imagines a world draped in mystery

where no scientific fact

can remain intact.

My words cannot be allowed to create

more fear, more sense of loss, more hate.

My words could darken the stars.

My words could start wars.

That I cannot allow and must abate.

I cannot add one ounce to your tons of hate.

If you think these words apply to one man,

you sadly misunderstand.

They apply to all of us, to me and to you.

We created the world we try to eschew.

In our deep spaces are we mere bagatelle?

Are we a nation without a story to tell?

We need not seek nor accept our ruination.

We have a Constitution, amended to perfect our nation.

We race not to win a trophy nor prize.

The race does not rely on crowd size.

We run to show how races can be won

when runners align and voters cheer on

every runner who flies by.

By my definition

the greatest competition lies within.

Racism is our Original Sin.

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J.D.VANCE

May I lie to you?

I promise to do it sweetly

and completely.

You will not feel a thing,

not really, never really.

Soft-spoken hateful lies

only raise hair across the nape.

Polite lies do not become the farce

of a carnival barker red in the face

who raises bile and never smiles

except in that smug way.

My smug smile lies in wait

only to be seen behind the screen

of my politeness and grace.

The need to shower away filth

subsides as one leans forward

to catch the whispered slide

of my quiet lies across the skin.

Lying to win is not a sin.

I lie so well.

No one can tell.

and so, I softly and secretly smile

with serious gaze all the while.

It is ridiculous

how insidious

polite lies swell.

Can you tell?

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SIGN STEALER

A restless night wondering if the sign is still in place.

The sign I had to replace.

The young white man in the white SUV

loaded the Harris sign in his car’s rear

compartment, deportment of theft.

What cause does he serve?

My neighbor called to report, quite unnerved

as she saw him hurry my sign inside

then jump in the back seat of his ride.

I wondered at first to pause and consider

if the thief is motivated by hate,

or greed for a sign of his own.

Wishful thinking, I know.

Hate burns so fast, 

Yet, we respond too slow

to catch the numbers on the license plate

of the vehicle likely stacked 

with signs this crew used to show hate.

The sign has been replaced, another “on-order”

just in case the thief returns to take more plunder.

And, as I always have done, still I wonder

what motivates such sinful behavior.

Mild, stealing a campaign sign may be;

but, crossing hate’s boundaries,

moving over mine to steal my sign

shows hate’s design clearly, not merely

a sin old as time, and hard to contain

once such boundaries are crossed.

Such sins raise an alarm,

where and when would this thief

decide to cause even more harm?

Hate, once acted upon, fuels the fire;

and harming another grows in desire.

Words matter, you see.

they motivate young men such as he

to cross over boundaries once firmly in place.

Such is a nation’s disgrace 

to act as if this campaign

is simply another political race.

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GOOD FRIDAY

The Cross appeals stronger than fear,

as I lay my burdens near,

bathed in remorse

at the nailed feet

of One so dear.

At this place

we place,

and replace,

His suffering

with our own,

hoping to rise

as did He

from the Cross

to eternity.

Still deeply planted

as the strongest tree

in the dark soil

of humanity,

bathed with great sorrow

by sinful rains

which flow so easily.

Prostrate with grief

which must not last

lest I forget my real task

to protect the earth

and all who live 

on a planet where too many

have forgotten how to forgive.

“Father forgive them, 

for they know not what they do.”

could easily apply to me and to you.

thus, I stand on this page

and send love and peace

to those in the midst of war

and to those who plead

make war no more.

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